Catching Feelings

In my last post I said something about men protecting women’s feelings. Now I don’t know how anyone felt about that, but I’d like to explain myself.

This article is mostly for men, but women, feel free to chime in.

Women are emotional creatures and I think men have taken that as a sign that they should smooth things over and do things to prevent women from being upset.

I disagree with that.

Men should not treat women like babies. It does much more damage in the long run.

I am a childcare professional and I know all to well the problems that arise when we baby a human who has the potential to become mature. From a kid point of view, they become “unable” to do things on their own. Socially, they are whiners and afraid to step out into the world and take risks. Life is all about risks so we should not enable a person from doing so.

This same principle kind of goes for women. If men coddle women, they will never get that thick skin that allows them to flow through relationships seamlessly without so much emotional turmoil.

Think of it like this: As a man, people don’t generally sugar coat things for you so you bounce back from disappointment without long moments of grief (in most cases). Obviously your upbringing and social relationships dictate how emotional you are but, there goes my point. If you were coddled as a child and all through life, you are more emotional, more quickly hurt, etc, but if you experienced life at its real depth, you are stronger for that.

So, I believe women deserve the same life lessons.

But, Queen, how do I do that? I don’t want all the girls in my life crying.

Glad you asked.

First of all, you’re a lady killer, a woman might cry over you (because women are emotional by nature). What you REALLY don’t want though, is a long winded argument and debate about how you have been living a lie, or leading her on, or not thinking of her feelings, or dredging up the past… Need I go on? Just “get to the punchline”, get the crying over and move on.

The best way to keep a woman tough is just to be honest. That kind of sums up any list I could write. I’ll be a little more detailed below.

Example one: If you are just interested in sex, so be it. Don’t make her think she’s your wife if all you want to do is screw. Be straight forward and let her make an informed decision from there. I had to tell one of my ex boyfriends what his problem was: he was so much of a gentleman that he took a girl on a date even if he just wanted sex. I had to tell him, now she thinks you really like her but you only like vagina, and not just hers.

Example two: If you really just want to be friends, then do it. Don’t make her think she’s your wife. lol. Don’t set unreal expectations.

Example three: Don’t do things for your woman that you don’t really want for yourself. This is my latest relationship problem… Don’t just go out with a girl because that’s what she wants and you don’t want her to be upset. She will eventually be upset because your relationship is going to SUCK! Do what makes you happy, BUT DON’T BE SELFISH either. Just don’t do anything that’s going to make you miserable, just to make her happy. Even though she may not say it, she wants you to be happy too and if you’re not happy, she’s not happy.

So, I hope I can bring some realism to these relationships out here. I’ll be writing an article about what a relationship is, in all contexts, very soon. Until then, strive to make you interactions with everyone you meet a good interaction.

Queen ^_^

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Relationship Thoughts Vol. 1

I have been thinking about relationships a lot lately… This blog is kinda like the launch pad for my thoughts on that subject because I don’t want my crime fiction readers to think I’m soft! LOL

Anyway! I had a few random thoughts I wanted to share.

1. Confused much? Why is it that when I’m hard to get, I’m wanted, but when I’m showing you that I want you, you back away?
2. Be real! I think the world would be a better place if MEN wouldn’t do so much to protect women’s feelings. More to come…
3. Fool me once… I’d rather be hurt once than for you to reopen the wound only to do permanent damage.
4. Commitment or nah? You CANNOT tie me down to a strictly sexual relationship. I will see others (Because at this point in my life (damn near 30) I need more than that). Take it all the way or nah. Shit or get off the pot.
5. Commitment or nah?? Don’t girlfriend me without a discussion before hand. I am one of those who needs a contract. Verbal or otherwise.
6. What do you want? Yo! Women get a bad rap for not knowing what they want, but guys, really? I guess this goes back to number 2. 4 and 5. You seem indecisive when you are just doing things to make us feel better and 4 and 5 should be self explanatory…
7. Grow up! To everyone, if we would all grow up and get mature, the world would be a better place. In general.

In conclusion, *Deep Sigh*

Queen ^_^

 

Just Say No! Part 2

This is Part 2 folks… here is a link to part 1, if you need to catch up!

https://thequeensspeak.wordpress.com/2010/06/08/just-say-no-part-1/

10 More things to avoid in a man/woman that you are trying to make it happen with:

To Much Ego: A man who is basically, selfish. This is a no no. One for all and all for one is how a relationship should go and if a man is onl

y thinking about himself, how is going to think about you?

Non Listener: A man who is not a good listener. Some one who can not really LISTEN to what you are saying is a useless waste of time. They will never know or understand you well enough to co-exist with you.

Pushy: Someone who is to forward. A pushy man makes me soooo unconfortable. Not giving you a chance to take time to make decisions is so rude and annoying.

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Bad Romance

I joined a writers group recently on Facebook and I have made some new Enlightened friends because of that. I thank my mentor Katrina for inviting me!

Anyway! One of my new Friends, Sam B. Redd asked, “Is it out of fear of loneliness that we find ourselves in relationship situations that we ultimately regret. Agree or disagree?”

AGREEEEEEEEE!

We are often caught in a Bad Romance because we don’t want to be alone. I do firmly believe that it is subconscious. Agree or Disagree??

Lady Gaga, in all of her strange glory, I think was the first person to make me realize that sometimes people indeed crave conflict in relationships. She said…

I want your love

and I want your revenge

I want your love

I don’t wanna be friends

Je veux ton amour

Et je veux ta revanche

J’veux ton amour

I don’t wanna be friends

If you haven’t seen her video, check it out, it is very visually stimulating, and a little creepy. lol, I like it.

Please let me know if you think we suffer through relationships because we fear being lonely. Leave me a comment so we can get this topic dismissed!

Queen Pinky (^_^)

Mind Your Own Business

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I believe Minding Our Own Business is an essential skill for life. People who don’t mind their own business pretty much, piss me off.

I think there are 3 good reasons to mind our own business.

1. Minding other peoples business is annoying: There is nothing worst than someone coming up to me and another person who are talking amongst ourselves and saying to me “You told Becky to back off?” Then I reply, “No, I told Becky her socks were off.”Then I remind them that they need to eavesdrop a little better before they try to join my conversation uninvited. Half the time a person minding your business has no idea what your talking about and joining into your business only means someone has to explain and catch them up to the conversation. Just don’t worry about it unless you are invited.

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