Ask the Queen 1

Hey folks, I got two questions I want to address in this edition of Ask the Queen.

Hey Queen,

Me and my boyfriend have been going out for a while and he has started asking me for oral sex. I am not really interested in doing that. I’ve done it before and it wasn’t too fun for me. Do you think I should try again? How do you think this will effect my relationship?

Signed, Zipper Lips

Hey Zipper Lips, I hate to say this but, time to suck it up. Literally.

In my humble opinion, sex is the corner stone of most relationships, so if yo man has some desires, you CANNOT leave them hanging. That could lead to cheating. In my humble opinion, sexual dissatisfaction is in the top 3 for why people cheat.

Now, don’t get me wrong, you shouldn’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable, but in this case I think the best thing to do is address your exact issues with oral sex. Beef up your Google game and figure out how to resolve your issues. I’ll give you one tidbit of info I learned, “Do not let him control the oral sex”. 9 times out of 10, that’s why you don’t like it. My biggest pet peeve: grabbing my head. Now I know dudes like that, so I’ll allow it sometimes, but I want to be in full control so I don’t want to be getting jerked around.

Here’s my list on how to get in a better space with oral sex.

1. Do a 69 – You’ll be much more relaxed if you’re also getting oral sex. and you BETTER be getting oral sex, by the way!

2. Resolve your issues – Think about why you don’t like doing it, tell your boyfriend that, and then you guys work on these issues together. Google and learn.

3. Stay in control – Think of it like a dominatrix kinda thing, but no teeth. Also, if you find being on your knees degrading, then change that up. You don’t have to be on your knees to give oral sex.

4. Have fun – many women see oral sex as a doomed activity and that it’s just for their man, but that’s because they make it that way. It can be very stimulating to both partners.

You can do it!

Queen ^_^

Queen,

Trying to get this girl to leave me alone. She’s not my girlfriend, we haven’t even had sex, she just likes me. How can I be nice about this and get her to back off?

Johnathan

Johnathan, I’m curious as to why you want her to back off. I guess she’s not your type, but anyway. I say the best way is to be direct, not mean, but direct. There is so much more to this question because, if your interested in being with someone else and she sees that, she may still be hurt. I guess you just need to put on your big boy pants when you deal with this girl.

List time!

1. Be firm but not mean when you speak to her.

2. Be honest and serious when you speak to her. Don’t try to crack jokes because she may not take you seriously.

3. Listen to her feelings, if she is willing to talk.

4. Speak to her in public… just in case.

I would also say, if it’s possible, parlay this crush into a friendship. I think that would work best for her and you. This way, you won’t be stalked and she won’t be damaged. Keep it light with her but don’t be fake about it. She’ll sense that.

This question is so multifaceted, I hope I helped!

Queen ^_^

Submit your questions, comments and whatever else here!

Catching Feelings

In my last post I said something about men protecting women’s feelings. Now I don’t know how anyone felt about that, but I’d like to explain myself.

This article is mostly for men, but women, feel free to chime in.

Women are emotional creatures and I think men have taken that as a sign that they should smooth things over and do things to prevent women from being upset.

I disagree with that.

Men should not treat women like babies. It does much more damage in the long run.

I am a childcare professional and I know all to well the problems that arise when we baby a human who has the potential to become mature. From a kid point of view, they become “unable” to do things on their own. Socially, they are whiners and afraid to step out into the world and take risks. Life is all about risks so we should not enable a person from doing so.

This same principle kind of goes for women. If men coddle women, they will never get that thick skin that allows them to flow through relationships seamlessly without so much emotional turmoil.

Think of it like this: As a man, people don’t generally sugar coat things for you so you bounce back from disappointment without long moments of grief (in most cases). Obviously your upbringing and social relationships dictate how emotional you are but, there goes my point. If you were coddled as a child and all through life, you are more emotional, more quickly hurt, etc, but if you experienced life at its real depth, you are stronger for that.

So, I believe women deserve the same life lessons.

But, Queen, how do I do that? I don’t want all the girls in my life crying.

Glad you asked.

First of all, you’re a lady killer, a woman might cry over you (because women are emotional by nature). What you REALLY don’t want though, is a long winded argument and debate about how you have been living a lie, or leading her on, or not thinking of her feelings, or dredging up the past… Need I go on? Just “get to the punchline”, get the crying over and move on.

The best way to keep a woman tough is just to be honest. That kind of sums up any list I could write. I’ll be a little more detailed below.

Example one: If you are just interested in sex, so be it. Don’t make her think she’s your wife if all you want to do is screw. Be straight forward and let her make an informed decision from there. I had to tell one of my ex boyfriends what his problem was: he was so much of a gentleman that he took a girl on a date even if he just wanted sex. I had to tell him, now she thinks you really like her but you only like vagina, and not just hers.

Example two: If you really just want to be friends, then do it. Don’t make her think she’s your wife. lol. Don’t set unreal expectations.

Example three: Don’t do things for your woman that you don’t really want for yourself. This is my latest relationship problem… Don’t just go out with a girl because that’s what she wants and you don’t want her to be upset. She will eventually be upset because your relationship is going to SUCK! Do what makes you happy, BUT DON’T BE SELFISH either. Just don’t do anything that’s going to make you miserable, just to make her happy. Even though she may not say it, she wants you to be happy too and if you’re not happy, she’s not happy.

So, I hope I can bring some realism to these relationships out here. I’ll be writing an article about what a relationship is, in all contexts, very soon. Until then, strive to make you interactions with everyone you meet a good interaction.

Queen ^_^

Finish Up Right

~*Happy New Years!*~

They say what you are doing on the start of the New Year is what you will be doing all year. Do something, positive, fun, safe and memorable. I will be having fun tonight because last year I went to bed early and yep, thats what I did all this year. LOL. I was bored all year!!!!

My New Years Resolutions: Become a published author, Save Money, Become toned, and be HAPPY!

I’m Ready to bring in the new year with true friends! Love you all!

Big Big BIG Kiss and a Happy New Year! (^_^) QueenPinky

Mind Your Own Business

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I believe Minding Our Own Business is an essential skill for life. People who don’t mind their own business pretty much, piss me off.

I think there are 3 good reasons to mind our own business.

1. Minding other peoples business is annoying: There is nothing worst than someone coming up to me and another person who are talking amongst ourselves and saying to me “You told Becky to back off?” Then I reply, “No, I told Becky her socks were off.”Then I remind them that they need to eavesdrop a little better before they try to join my conversation uninvited. Half the time a person minding your business has no idea what your talking about and joining into your business only means someone has to explain and catch them up to the conversation. Just don’t worry about it unless you are invited.

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