You’re a bitch: The downfall of Women in Rap and TV

A Facebook friend posed a question:

Seriously. Not judging. But LADIES, does it bother you hearing the word, “Bi@ch” in almost every song today????

Just Curious.

That conjured up thoughts that I had been having for YEARS!

There was this song by the rapper Ludacris called “Ho” that came out in like 2008-2009 and man! I was shocked when they let him say every single Ho on the radio! I was like what?? What happened to censorship?

STOP! I do not advocate censorship.

But seriously. Ho is a derogatory word in just about every sense of the word, nowadays. 9.5 times out of 10 it is not a garden tool they talking about. This was just the beginning!

Recently, like within the last 5 years, it became cool for you to say BITCH on the radio. I faint! Again, the term is almost never used in context.

SN: What is the point in having a context if everyone ignores it. LOL. JK.

So, now, the two words most used in Rap to degrade women are perfectly allowable on the radio.

I don’t listen to the radio: A checklist by the Queen

#1: I hate commercials.

#2: I hate most DJ’s. You’re ANNOYING!

#3: I don’t want to listen to Lil Wayne, all day, literally. Or Drake. Gag.

#4: I don’t want to be degraded!

This Bitch-ho-ratchet-thot-tramp-slut thing is getting out of hand! Two of those words I didn’t even know until this year… I got back on Facebook hard for my book release (SURPRISE) and I learned all about assholes. ‘Cuse my Franch.

TV ain’t makin it no betta! The women (“grown women”) like being called bitches, call themselves bitches and hoes and act like whores and bitches and people LOVE IT! If I see one more clip of two black girls fighting over one black cock, I really will… I’m having heart palpitations… going down!

OMG I’m flat lining. Don’t revive me. I can’t live in a world where women hate themselves that much. They might try to rub off on me.

Extravagant as my reaction might be, I think, in a more philosophical tone, what I mean to say is, revive me when women start to wake up and see how disgusting, they and the men are who degrade them.

I have already made a vow: “If my daughter asks me to watch MTV, BET or VH1 (in some cases), I will say no. I am fully willing to fight a child should there be any debate or name calling.” The only clause in this vow is Black Girls Rock and documentaries. Some, I repeat, SOME music videos will be allowed but it depends on the song, the artist and the content of the video. I know I can’t keep her from everything, but I’LL TRY! On top of that, she loves to dance so I want her to see the latest dance moves and all that.

I’ll also use music videos as life lessons. like “If I ever see you doing THAT I will embarrass you so bad in public, you’ll wanna go live with unknown aunts or uncles.”

In Other Words: I’m gonna be CLOSELY monitoring all interactions with the TV, like the Government does us now…

SN: My daughter does not listen to new school rap. She appreciates HIP HOP (which is not rap… by the way. Article Coming Soon.) She’s 6, but there are some 6 year olds who are very rap literate, so don’t act like she couldn’t be rap literate. What the hell is a Lil Boosie anyway? My daughter, basically listens to everything except mainstream rap. I will introduce her to Tupac, Biggie, Public Enemy etc. when she is old enough to not repeat everything she hears, to her teacher.

My daughter is diverse and could sing and dance to anything from Hall and Oates to Pat Benatar to Beyonce to Cody Simpson. She also likes Jazz and International music.

So back to the point… This stuff is ruining our female children! Haven’t you all seen enough twerking videos and toddlers poppin it? Isn’t the joke over now?

I will have a whole ‘nother article on Reality TV and why I think it is poisoning us, even in passing, but I’ll touch on it briefly here because its on topic. Reality TV is so fake, first of all, but to our young ladies, it is very real. They don’t all necessarily have the capacity to understand how wrong this stuff is. They don’t know how disrespectful it is to their eyes and mind because they are flooded with these images and words on the radio and TV. “Anything on TV must be right!” “Anything that glitters IS gold!” STOP THE MADNESS.

SN: When I was younger, I referred to myself and my home girls as bitches. Down ass bitches, hood bitches, the realest bitches… Jade was the first one to stop that train and as I got older I stopped it on my own. Don’t let our girls figure this out on their own when they become adults. Be proactive in your girls life.

10 steps to keeping our girls from being bitches: Do this early and often.

  1. Teach them self worth!
  2. Train their self esteem with positive and appropriate encouragement.
  3. Teach them what love really is and LOVE THEM!
  4. Teach them that their body is personal and precious.
  5. Teach them to be nice, respectful, giving, caring and be beautiful inside.
  6. Teach them not to seek revenge. Nothing is worse than a vengeful woman! They call that a bitch…
  7. Teach them values and to be morally upstanding.
  8. Tell them they a beautiful no matter what! Acne, bad hair day, braces, messed up outfit means nothing!
  9. Don’t fill their heads with images that DO NOT UPLIFT THEM as women!
  10. Encourage things that will make them better OVERALL, not just things that will get them material and immoral possessions.

Save our Girls!

 PS: Stop calling men bitches too. Article coming soon.

Love, Queen
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Emotions are EVIL

Social Networks are Evil.

They create a High School like environment where nothing is private or sacred and anyone can do or say anything to hurt you.

Now, I am a firm believer that you can use Facebook, MySpace, Twitter and all that other stuff without without the drama because you have to ALLOW people into your space. They can’t just show up in 3rd period gym class and mess with you! The problem with Facebook specifically is that you can see stuff from “Friends of Friends” and stuff like that. That’s were issues come about for me. I have chosen to keep lots of people away from me but a lot of those people have connections to other people I hate and that “Friends of Friends” thing, get me…

Emotions are Evil.

Social networks are the reason I hate my emotions today!

I have a connection to someone who should be very close to me and my life but they are not. I use Facebook to keep people close to me, I’m there everyday. This person upset me today because of something they posted as their Status. These types of things have been an ongoing trend, ever since I connected with this person on Facebook but it wasn’t until today that my stupid EMOTIONS actually let this status upset me. I had been “okay” with this person and the issue we have with not being close but somehow today I just can’t even stand them and they made me cry and I want to call them and give them a piece of my mind…

But I don’t think it’s worth it. I’m sorry I can’t go into more details but there are people who read my writing who know this person and this issue is an issue for them too. I don’t want anyone getting upset just because I’m upset. I’m sure I’ll get over it.

Emotions are THE HARDEST thing to control about oneself. Even when we say we will control ourselves or not be jealous or not be mad or get over something, emotions keep us on our toes. If we truly want to over come our emotions and how they effect us, we run into a serious challenge and an inner perspective check. Being jealous means we probably need to re-evaluate how we feel about that issue, being mad means we may need to think about something further or change our communication method, being happy means we should do what made us happy more often. Everything takes thought and processing and definitely not rash decision making.

And no, I do not think that deleting the connection I have to this person from Facebook is a Rash Decision. They have my number and the phone works both ways.

The Emotion of the day: Upset/Sad.

Big Kiss ( ; _ ; ) QueenPinky

(I think I’ll start another blog with a secret identity so I can really get this off my chest… I’ve seen it work for others…)

Fatherhood

Fatherhood

I know I missed fathers day with this but I have been confronted with an issue and I want to write about it.

My step father has shown me a different perspective on fatherhood this month.

When my step father found out I would be unemployed he offered to pay my rent so me and Khyra could survive. He did in June and we have been surviving just fine. (Except for potty training!) Well, my mother got the bright idea that I needed to visit my father and that she would chaperon us there, to New Mexico. Great idea! I’m off work for 6 weeks, haven’t seen my father since my daughter was born, so why not. Well, my step father catches wind of this and he has an attitude. I think his mind began running wild with all the things that might go on out there. Affairs, money spending, to much fun with out him… (- _ -)

He said to me, “Why didn’t you ask your dad to pay your rent?” I tell him I did, Lie, and that my father doesn’t have the money currently. He says “Well, why do you need to go see him then?” I say because he’s my dad. Period. “Well you gon’ spend your money to go out there and he’s not gonna pay for anything.” I say that just because he’s not paying for anything doesn’t mean I shouldn’t visit him.

I should visit my dad because he is my dad.

I know people whose fathers have passed away. They have no one to visit.

We have had a strange relationship, me and my dad. But he spawned me. He taught me how to co-exist with people who are not like me: My mother spent a majority of her time with African Americans, my dad cohort-ed with Caucasians mostly, so I have developed a unique way of knowing how to deal with just about anyone. My dad was into arts and rock and roll, my mom was into r&b and movies. Dad was Mcdonalds, mom was home cooking and no eating out.

I got the best of both worlds. (And YES, I do indulge in Rock and Roll…)

My dad has never been a money pile and I am glad of that. We spent our share of money on comics, cds, and video games, but it was not hand over fist. He gave me TIME most of all. I saw him constantly.

I always think about Khyra’s father when I think about fathers. I still can’t put my finger on him. My mother said something that made me happy and has given me my new perspective on how I feel about fathers in general. She said, “I just want Khyra to know him and for him to be around.” That’s what I want too.

Fatherhood all really [should] boil down to one thing. People need time with one another to bond. Money can not buy a bond. Money is temporary, it comes and go. Real fathers invest time and energy into their children. POSITIVE energy. Mothers who hound fathers for money need to remember that money can be gained in so many other ways but the way you interact with your childrens father will shape his involvement with your children. Threats to a babies daddy need to sound more like, “If you don’t come spend some time on your kid, we will disown you…” If he can’t do that then what is he really good for?

Me and my father, Keith Lewis

Big Kiss (^_^) QueenPinky

[Source:http://www.worldofstock.com/slides/PCH3313.jpg (Image)]

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