Ask the Queen 1

Hey folks, I got two questions I want to address in this edition of Ask the Queen.

Hey Queen,

Me and my boyfriend have been going out for a while and he has started asking me for oral sex. I am not really interested in doing that. I’ve done it before and it wasn’t too fun for me. Do you think I should try again? How do you think this will effect my relationship?

Signed, Zipper Lips

Hey Zipper Lips, I hate to say this but, time to suck it up. Literally.

In my humble opinion, sex is the corner stone of most relationships, so if yo man has some desires, you CANNOT leave them hanging. That could lead to cheating. In my humble opinion, sexual dissatisfaction is in the top 3 for why people cheat.

Now, don’t get me wrong, you shouldn’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable, but in this case I think the best thing to do is address your exact issues with oral sex. Beef up your Google game and figure out how to resolve your issues. I’ll give you one tidbit of info I learned, “Do not let him control the oral sex”. 9 times out of 10, that’s why you don’t like it. My biggest pet peeve: grabbing my head. Now I know dudes like that, so I’ll allow it sometimes, but I want to be in full control so I don’t want to be getting jerked around.

Here’s my list on how to get in a better space with oral sex.

1. Do a 69 – You’ll be much more relaxed if you’re also getting oral sex. and you BETTER be getting oral sex, by the way!

2. Resolve your issues – Think about why you don’t like doing it, tell your boyfriend that, and then you guys work on these issues together. Google and learn.

3. Stay in control – Think of it like a dominatrix kinda thing, but no teeth. Also, if you find being on your knees degrading, then change that up. You don’t have to be on your knees to give oral sex.

4. Have fun – many women see oral sex as a doomed activity and that it’s just for their man, but that’s because they make it that way. It can be very stimulating to both partners.

You can do it!

Queen ^_^

Queen,

Trying to get this girl to leave me alone. She’s not my girlfriend, we haven’t even had sex, she just likes me. How can I be nice about this and get her to back off?

Johnathan

Johnathan, I’m curious as to why you want her to back off. I guess she’s not your type, but anyway. I say the best way is to be direct, not mean, but direct. There is so much more to this question because, if your interested in being with someone else and she sees that, she may still be hurt. I guess you just need to put on your big boy pants when you deal with this girl.

List time!

1. Be firm but not mean when you speak to her.

2. Be honest and serious when you speak to her. Don’t try to crack jokes because she may not take you seriously.

3. Listen to her feelings, if she is willing to talk.

4. Speak to her in public… just in case.

I would also say, if it’s possible, parlay this crush into a friendship. I think that would work best for her and you. This way, you won’t be stalked and she won’t be damaged. Keep it light with her but don’t be fake about it. She’ll sense that.

This question is so multifaceted, I hope I helped!

Queen ^_^

Submit your questions, comments and whatever else here!

How to Break Up

Breaking up is hard to do, but I’m going to try to make it easier.

The emotional part is a given and will have to be dealt with in your own way. I hope that with the way I am suggesting that you break up, you will be more able to over come the emotions involved. Ladies! Time to get LOGICAL!

I have broken up with almost all of my boyfriends. That makes me an expert. (Ha ha, silly me.) I believe firmly in communication, I am patient and understanding, so I think I made it easy for boyfriends to stay with me but shit happens.

The first few times were hard but then I became the master planner you see before you today and this is what I did. I am now friends with every ex I’ve ever had except the ones that I lost contact with…. Tight!

Please remember, everyone is different, this is just my way.

1. DO NOT BREAK UP VIA TEXT, FACEBOOK OR EMAIL! Man up and call. In person can be dangerous, depending on a persons stable or unstable mental capacity but text, email and social networks leave a lot of room for misunderstanding. The words coming out of your mouth are way more clear, even if they are not clear.

2. Know that you really want to break up: If there is Any, ANY slight twing of “Maybe we can work it out,” you are not ready. Do not even think about breaking up if you might change your mind. Changing your mind about a break up (especially in the middle of the break up conversation) will have you looking like a moron and could annoy and scare off the person you are breaking up with. If you are going to be indecisive that can give your mate strength to decide for you and you don’t want that. I’ve seen it before. Make a Pros and Cons sheet to make sure that the negative out weighs the positives.
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Property Damage!!!

Property Damage!!!

I just had a Facebook conversation with a bunch of people about women breaking the windows out of  a mans car after they have broken up. I got some interesting point of views there, some comedy and some emotional truths so I wanted to sum them up here. Thank you to Mz. Kewe of JuneBug Talk for starting this conversation and giving me the inspiration.

During the talk I did learn something about men. Men cherish things that they can control or that they think will not desert them. A guy chimed in and said that a car will not betray you like a woman. They also reminded us that they do love us as much as that car but when we change, they change. The car never changes. If we never changed our behavior from positive to negative we would not be deserted by our man or mistreated.

BUT what about when we don’t change? What about when we are consistent and supportive and loving and caring and blah blah blah. Well think about it like this… Men mistreat their cars, or Xbox or Shoes or whatever it is that they seem to cherish more than us. Like not getting an oil change, or beating on the Xbox when it doesn’t play right, but does the Xbox complain? Does it take the games and leave? Does it hit back? No! So on that note, the relationship continues as well as it did before the Xbox got hit. Outside of the physical, a man may never tell an Xbox that it loves it. Women thrive on those types of verbal reminders of affection. This is the difference. Women react to mistreatment, and lack of love, some more than others and without a healthy way of working out those problems then a relationship must end. Just a note: physical abuse means a relationship must end. No Questions.

Something else that the guys said was that it really pisses them off when their property is damaged by crazy women. Of course. A woman would feel the same way if the roles were reversed. Some men even jokingly said that they would resort to violence! It was funny but it was the truth, some men would be so furious that if they caught up to you they would surely try to kill you.

The conclusion I came to is something that I think we all know: When relationships have to be over, no matter when, where, how or why, we must be adult about it. Defacing property is a crime and it will not get your relationship, happiness or sanity back. It will feel good, for the moment but you could incur some financial issues, if you get caught, and the benefits of it feeling good will soon go away when you realize that he can just as easily go get the repairs done, or when you realize you have to pay for the repairs.

If you feel like you might want to deface some property go read my blog “How to get over you ex in 7 days”. It might help.

Queens are bigger than Property Damage.

Big Kiss (^_^) QueenPinky

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