Has anyone ever told you that you can’t love someone until you love yourself? I have heard that time and time again. Even told that to my love ones in the midst of a pity party and man bashing party. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, after quite a few meaningless relationships, two kids, one babies daddy and bringing more harm to myself than I would like to admit, I finally understood it. I thought I loved myself and realized I didn’t, thought that I loved others and realized I didn’t know how to.
To love yourself means taking care of yourself mentally, physically and spiritually. Finding positive outlets to relieve stress, keeping a positive attitude and outlook on life, respecting yourself first then others, treating others the way you want to be treated, and responding in a tactful and diplomatic manner when others disrespect you. These are some ways to love yourself. Eating right, exercise, and attempting to learn everyday is good for your mind, body and even the soul. When you love yourself others realize that and respect you. My experience is that people treat you with the same respect you treat yourself. People value you how you value yourself. When you love yourself you demand that people respect you and your self esteem also becomes stronger.
I feel that one reason for violence is because people don’t love themselves and don’t feel as if they have a reason to live. People who love themselves have respect for human life and furthermore, their own life. People who care about the outcome of their lives do not want to get caught up in what the judicial system can bring a person, because when you get into the judicial system you lose the right to control your own life. There would be more successful people, college grads, more healthy babies, and less violence if more people loved themselves and others. Loving yourself means being a better person inside and out, up and down.
I have been big on this topic lately due to things that have been going on in my life, when it dawned on me recently that I didn’t love myself the way that I should. A way that’s healthy. In my relationships I have allowed a man to call me names, lie to me, become physical, mislead me, and just plain and simply degrade me. I thought that it was okay and depending on the situation, thought that I was playing my position, thought I was being that down ass bitch that a man needed. After an argument with my children’s father, he told me flat out that I was degrading myself and I couldn’t understand that. I was stuck. How is that possible? I thought that’s what he wanted. What all men wanted? Surprisingly enough that’s not what he wanted. He wanted me to be loyal, supportive, and to do what I needed to as a mom. But I did not have to degrade myself in the process. Not even if he asked, because I should love myself more than I loved him. And that touched me. It made me look at other relationships not with just me but for others also. I realized that if that person loved me they wouldn’t treat me how they did. They wouldn’t ask me to do things to hurt myself. I would hear the truth no matter how it felt, I would be hugged and not hit. Then of course there are the people who haven’t a clue about how to treat a dog, let alone a person. I can understand and even relate to these people. And this is why I have put forth the effort to teach myself and show other how important loving yourself is.
Just a little food for thought: If you’re concerned with how your man is treating you its best to take a look in the mirror because the problem starts with you. Just LOVE YOURSELF.
And with that comes my signature.